KONKANCATHOLIC

Fear of being JUDGED

The fear of being JUDGED- a barrier that most individuals face in the current world. Irrespective of how well you do a task, you are bound to be judged by a person who never looked at the positive end. When you forge your own path and step outside of your comfort zone to speak, you will be judged by others. And more often than not, the judgment will definitely create a void in your heart, a void that may take ages to fill. 



Being humans, we have the tendency to get influenced by trends in the society, so we start jogging behind these trends, foreseeing all the good it may have.An example would be, a man who always chose the healthy way of using the staircase instead of the elevator, is now taken up the latter. Just because he was laughed upon by his colleagues. We are social animals, so it’s normal to be wanted to be accepted and approved of by other people.A boy who wants to pursue his career in being a chef, he can’t do so, because his parents are worried about what the society might think of him? He ends up in an Engineering or Medical college pursuing a degree he is least interested in.When you avoid going to the loo the entire movie because you’re not on an end seat and you’re too afraid to ask people to move. 

Factually speaking, the degree of unconventionality, is directly proportional to the “nobody gets me” feeling and all of the fear and anxiety that comes along with it. There will come a time where we will be ashamed of the nakedness of our soul and we start to cover them up with the way the world wants us to. At some point we become afraid of those judgmental eyes, furtive whispers and hostile snickers. We lose the ability to be free individuals, get shackled by the thoughts of being un-liked, unattractive or unworthy. We learn the rules to be socially acceptable, start to judge, accept judgments and worry about them. 

Let me tell you this, negative judgment is like poison to our self-esteem. No matter what you do, you are always going to be questioned, judged, if that’s the case, for once let’s follow what our hearts want us to do, because at the end you at least have the satisfaction that you have followed what you wanted to do. To err is human, we make mistakes, we learn from them, with every mistake comes a load of experience that you are never going receive anywhere else, provided you stop worrying about what every Tom,Dick and Harry said. The three mantras that may help you to overcome the fear of being judged – 

• You are a human, so are everyone else-It’s not possible that you become the first favorite of everyone you meet. Just like you prefer a bunch of people more than the others, give others too the choice of choosing who they prefer. 
• Some giving a bad opinion about you isn’t fatal- There's no denying that other peoples negative opinions about you is hurtful, obviously it feels bad to know that you aren’t his cup of tea , fortunately negative opinions wont fatally wound you but only make you work harder. After all, it’s the opinion of your self-esteem that matters the most. 
• Don’t try to please others all the time-Isn’t it always preferable, for others to like you for who you really are instead of because you always agree with them and bend over backwards to impress them ? 

So, let’s start loving ourselves, putting our thoughts and ideas into priority first and if any gap remains consider what the society has to say. 

Leave Your Comment